Service February 6, 2010

From SolSeed

Poetry,

Music,

Meaning-making,

Community,

Connection with the Holy.

Please join us for our first SolSeed Service.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

11 am Service.

12:30 pm Potluck. Please bring a drink, dessert, or side dish (e.g. salsa) to share. Shelley & Brandon will provide Haystacks (aka American Taco)

Sanders' home, 1824 SE Oak St, Portland OR 97214

Core/seed topic: Empathy

Order of Service

Lighting of the Chalice

Opening Words

All: Our world is one world, and we are one people.

Reader: We gather this day in celebration of life and spirit.

All: The human heart can hold both joy and sorrow.

Reader: This day let us hold one another and all that is sacred.

Song: "Spirit of Life" from Singing the Living Tradition, p. 123

Poem: "Spring and Fall" by Gerard Manley Hopkins, read by Shelley Sanders

Empathy Presentation and Discussion with Mark Hansen

Song: "Lean on Me" by Bill Withers, performed by Steve and Judy Sibelman

Meditation

Only your compassion and your loving kindness are invincible, and without limit.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

Song: "Our World is One World" from Singing the Living Tradition, p. 134

Silence

Closing Words

Reader: So with a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings.

All: So may it be.

Reader: Blessed be.

Notes from the empathy discussion

• Empathy can only exist after a child can see him/herself as separate from his/her mother
• Levels of empathy
  • First level: "That person hurts, therefore I must hurt"
    • Requires that you have had the same experience you're witnessing someone else have
  • Second level: "I have no idea what you must be feeling"
    • Trying to understand/relate to an experience someone else is having that we have never had
  • Third level: Putting aside one's own feelings and "living into" another person's feelings
• Compassion is a product of suffering, but suffering can lead to jadedness instead
• Stories help build a repertoire of experiences to identify with, even though we're just reading about how characters feel in those situations
• There is a darker side to empathy
  • You can understand/relate to the experiences of an enemy
  • This can help you figure out what would hurt that enemy most
• Is empathy nature or nurture?
  • Neither/both: we're born with a certain amount, but can learn more
    • Similar to communication styles, where you have a naturally dominant style but can learn the others
• Some people express "empathy" for starving people in poor countries whom they will never meet, while failing to empathize well with those immediately around them
  • Avoids letting the other have empathy for you in return, which can be dangerous?
• Developmentally, trust comes before empathy
  • Einstein quote (?): "The most important question anyone can ask is, 'Do we live in a safe universe?'"
  • People who are abused as children learn not to trust the world, and this makes empathy very difficult for them